I realised today that whilst one is in the company of others, for a period of time, their minds become less devoted to finding self-awareness and reasoning within the surrounding environment, and more devoted to being a coherent and acceptable member of that certain group of people. This isn’t a bad thing as I spend way too much time alone. However, I probably wouldn’t be aware of the changes in my mind whilst socialising, If I spent most of my time socialising, and my mind may not function exactly like it had been doing of late. Nevertheless, without socialising, one becomes as dead as a flower is without sunlight.

When I left my friends today, I sensed a feeling, a more easy going nature to me, which is a good thing, reason tells me so!. Irrationality tells me otherwise. My personal CCTV john camera was monitoring me as I walked to the bus stop, accompanied by the words in my head “consumer kid” as I analysed the logo on my t-shirt (all be it my own logo!) and my Walkman in my hand.

The irrationality tries to force me to become more serious again, more acute and cynical, as if a smile would ruin all I have worked for. I did what it told me to, and I went home and had a miserable and lonely night.

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About John Ledger

A visual Artist, eternal meanderer and obsessive self-reflector by nature, who can’t help but try to interpret everything from within the tide of society. His works predominantly take the form of large scale ballpoint pen landscape drawings and map-making as social/psychological note-making. They are slowly-accumulating responses to crises inflicted upon the self in the perplexing, fearful, empty, and often personality-erasing human world.

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